Lovers - Version 2In the spirit of the holidays, I wanted to give the gift of ecstasy to all of my followers. People often ask me, “What is ecstasy?”  Ecstasy is a peak emotional experience accompanied by intense sexual pleasure. It represents a time and space in an adult love relationship; a place that every couple should aspire to reach. We can’t live there — the variability of life will not allow it. However, if you’re willing to strive, you can get closer and closer to the goal-ecstasy. Intimacy and pleasure are key ingredients to the recipe for ecstasy.

Intimacy and pleasure are two of the most essential ingredients to the recipe for ecstasy. Intimacy doesn’t just represent sexual encounters. As a matter of fact sex is only a small aspect of intimacy. Closeness, the kind of closeness that comes from sharing, characterizes true intimacy. The sharing of meaningful moments creates opportunities for individuals to connect. It is important that couples have shared values, dreams, and meaningful moments to solidify their bond. Meaningful moments include parenting tasks, leisure activities, household responsibilities, conflict, and grief.

Sex is one of many mechanisms that can also be used for this purpose. If there are problems in the bedroom, people tend to avoid using sex as an ingredient to enrich intimacy. If this is characteristic of your relationship, then it may be necessary to start with some other, less anxiety-provoking, things to share. Take a walk together. Hold hands. Prepare a meal together. Talk to each other.

Be mindful of he negative impact that distance can have on your relationship. Of course, life can get in the way. People get busy, conflict arises, and this results in space. Just like our appetites, relationships go through cycles. When you are committed to someone for life, you expect peaks, valleys, and plateaus. These can be managed while still holding onto the core goodness (the laughter, affection, compromise, adoration, honesty, appreciation, friendship, intimacy and acceptance) of the relationship.

This is where pleasure enters the recipe for ecstasy. Ideally, we choose partners who offer us the endless possibility for pleasure. Here again we can take the pleasure of sexuality for granted. Sex feels good or at least it should. This is why sex sales, the human race persists, porn makes millions, and we “do it” over and over again.

There are many other things that couples should be able to depend on for pleasure. Having fun both in and outside of the bedroom means committing to personal and mutual pleasure. Continue to invest time, money, and energy in the things that bring you joy. Remember the fun parts of singlehood and dating and incorporate the appropriate aspects into your relationship. Be spontaneous and adventurous. Play games. Travel. Exercise. Dream big. Eat good. Make love.

Orgasms are pleasurable. Good sex may produce orgasms, though that is not the sole objective. If you follow these instructions, orgasms should be, both, powerful and plentiful. I have to tell you though, when two people commit to mutual pleasure and invest in creating intimacy, making love yields far more than an orgasm—it yields ecstasy

If you are wondering how to put it all together to create a delicious recipe for ecstasy, read this recipe provided by a married woman with children. She and her spouse have mastered the art of intimacy and pleasure-ecstasy.

I was determined to have a great time with my husband. It was his homecoming at TSU [awayness], his twenty-year fraternity anniversary, and my first time on the scene, [new]. Plus we really needed this time away. We had been beefin’ off and on since one of our last trips, earlier this year with the kid. It was time to kick it and be friends [N.O.R.].

He needed to do him, I needed to do me, and we wanted to look and feel good doing it, together. This trip was a long time coming, so I was prepared: a new hair-do that came fully equipped with a new attitude [newness]. We had packed all of the necessary accoutrements: lingerie, fuck me pumps, smell good, music, Astroglide (personal lubricant), the bullet, blue dolphin, Vicerex (male sexual enhancement supplement), and treats (grey goose and tonic with a twist of lime) [accessories]. I wanted to be prepared when he released the beast on me.

My job this weekend was “to be gorgeous, cool as hell, and super fun” (a close friend reminded me), and to talk. But, not in my usual voice. I needed to tell him how beautiful he is with my action and my words [intimacy]. This is what he needed and wanted from me. So that is what I gave.

It started before we even got in the air, with the texting that was sure to arouse his curiosity and his cock, his beautiful cock. Charisse was calling for Wesley, and I needed to channel my inner sex-goddess, mother-whore, freak because Wesley was around and ready.

We had fun all day kickin’ it at the happy hour and dinner that followed. In true fashion, shortly after we arrived at the hotel, he was off to sleep. I just knew we were done for the night. I was disappointed and borderline pissed! But, to my shock, amazement, and pleasure, around 12:30 a.m., my husband was up and ready to eat. First my lips, with passionate kisses, and then a nibble here and a nibble there; he nibbled my neck and back. That was the appetizer. He inhaled my pussy; he didn’t even stop to chew. What a hungry man he was. I was so grateful for his nap. The orgasm was great because I got to shout it out, without worrying who was on the other side of the wall to hear me [setting]. And he did the same when he exploded inside of me. Now we were really hungry. After a little socializing in the lobby, it was off to get a pizza.

By 4:00 a.m., my husband’s appetite had returned. I was so sleepy that I can’t remember the details; all I know is that we both gave and received good head [mutuality]. I came, and it was good. Who is this hungry man? Back for seconds, taking me from the back. The next thing I remember was waking up; lying in the last position he had me in. He knocked me out with the dick [satiety].

It was apparent he wanted me all weekend [engendered feelings]. Usually I am the one who is always trying to make sure that sex is on the menu. This was his weekend, his homecoming, his insatiable appetite, and that made me hot. So I followed his lead. Oh, he was sure to like that. “Big Daddy” likes it when I sprinkle a little suga on it, and make it sweet. No backtalk, that comes with its normal kick. Spicy! Just fun.

The sex just kept coming at me, like the dishes of a twenty-course meal at Per Se. We had a big delicious breakfast (real food this time), the homecoming parade, fraternity dedication, shopping, burgers and fries (gotta eat right?), tailgating, and football game. Sex was the last thing on my mind when we went back to the room for a quick change for dinner at 10:00 p.m.

We did not leave the room until 11:30 p.m. We just got it in where it fit in. As the clothes came off the temperature in the room went up. The heat probably emanated from the friction of our bodies grinding to some jams (Woozy, Give It To Me Right, just to name a few) as we stood at the foot of the bed facing the wall mirror. He wasn’t even inside of me yet. I was getting so wet, looking at his lustful eyes in the mirror, as he dipped his fingers inside of me, while I gave him a lap dance on tiptoe [variety]. His fingers were the only tools that he needed to turn the temperature to hot-n-ready, but we used a little Astroglide to ease the way, and we were on our way—standing, sitting, his front to my back, straddled over the ottoman, and finally to the bed [variety]. “Head for me? I shouldn’t. I’m stuffed. OKAY just a little”. He gave me just enough to make me scream with pleasure, and, yes, I did scream because there were no kids around to hear my moans and groans, nor the screams of passion as I exploded from sheer satisfaction [sexual abandon]. It was his turn next. He growled with passion as he released his warm gravy inside of me. And like many times before, he started to say, “That was…” and I finished his thought, “the best orgasm I have ever had.” [intimacy]