With the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, the buzz about bondage,  domination, sadism, and masochism (BDSM) is again in the air. BDSM is something so taboo, yet it has women turning pages with such excitement and begging for more. Will women pack the movie theatre and watch it all play out on the big screen with moist lips (pun intended)?  I believe so, because it is juxtaposed with several ingredients that many women long for: newness, sexual abandon, excitement, romance, variety and love. I write about these topics in great detail in The Recipe for Ecstasy series. Here is a peak inside my recipe book.

Woman have an endless list of responsibilities, many of which are associated with her role as a mother, wife, confident, sister, daughter, and friend.  At the end of the day she really wants to relax, kickback and let someone love on her.  The man who is willing and able to take the lead as a lover and decision maker is a welcomed relief from her world of roles and duties.   While all women may not be willing to publicly acknowledge it, every woman desires to be taken passionately, devoured like his last super, and yes, spanked at the ended of the night.  Here are 7 reasons why:

“Take off your clothes, lay down, spread your legs…” Power and confidence are an afrodisiac.

There is nothing sexier than a man who knows his worth and exhibits it in his walk, his talk, and his touch.  How hot is it when a man tells you in his come hither voice exactly what he wants? I’m getting excited just thinking about it. Knowing what you want and how you want it increases the likelihood that it will be served your way. This take charge approach will guarantee she will follow your lead, especially if it is in the context of a trusting relationship. So be bold and bring her to her knees with pleasure.

“Relax baby, I got this!” Feeling safe and secure allows her to test the boundaries.

It is essential to be free from judgments and expectations that may distract you from being in touch with your own sexuality. There is a safety and security that is created when he takes the lead.  Under these conditions, a woman can relax and let go, not only of the roles that she often occupies, but of her own inhibitions as well.  A strong assertive man communicates to his lover that she can do the same. She can be herself, ask for what she wants, and he can handle it. Most importantly, she will not be judged for her freedom of sexual expression. Instead, she will be admired and handsomely rewarded with pleasure and maybe even a side of pain.

“Good girls don’t…” The forbidden is desired.

We tend to want what we cant have. If you tell me I can’t have it, then I want it that much more. Society tells us that it is not proper to tie up your lover, pull her hair, or spank her bottom.  But what if she likes it a little rough? Doggie Style! As long as these acts are taking place between consenting adults, who are you to judge? Just know that if you do, this will increase a person’s desire to experience the forbidden.  So judge away!

“Girls run the world.” –  For once, she does not have to make the decisions.

This is not just a catchy tune from Beyonce`. It is the reality.  I’m not male bashing.  However, no matter how much he does, a woman (especially a mother) does more.  She tends to the details,  creates a home, plans for the future, and makes the world go round. When he takes charge and allows her to focus solely on pleasure, she feels appreciated for all of her efforts. His focus on her also gives him key information about her desires. Just imagine…  The only thing a woman in four point restraints can do is feel and respond. So go ahead, tie her up, just be sure to fill her up.

“Tonight I am your master and you are my captive.” Variety is the spice of life.

Fantasy is one easy way to add excitement to your love life. Overtime, we may fall into a routine both inside and outside of the bedroom. The same peck on the lips, conversation over dinner, or sexual positions get boring. If you could have your heart’s desire, without fear of judgment, without concern regarding performance, with no expectations too high, no desire too unbecoming — if you could have all of this, what would excite you the most? Maybe a trip to the “Red Room of Pain”.

“We didn’t wait; he just took me right there on the table.” His unbridled passion makes her feel wanted.

Longing, craving, lust, yearning, horny, hunger. These words are all used to identify the experience known as desire.  For women, unlike men, desire and arousal start in our biggest erogenous zone, the brain. What does this mean? Desire starts outside of the bedroom.  She needs her lover to stimulate her mind, heart, and body.  He does this by way of how he treats her. So tonight treat her to untamed desire.

“I was aroused by the romance.” It is a steamy romance pure and simple.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a love Story. Everyone knows that all a woman really wants is to be loved by her man. One way that he expresses love is to take the time to put her in a romantic mood. Romance has always appealed to women. It is characterized by the mystery and excitement of love that takes a person away from the monotony associated with real life.  She wants to play; take her away.

Bondage and domination is not about pain, shame or humiliation.  To the contrary, when done right, it is about intimacy, trust, and mutual pleasure. So, fellas take charge. Ladies follow his lead. He might just take you to places you’ve never experienced, ecstasy! It doesn’t matter if you have been naughty or nice, you deserve a spanking tonight.